Only pass comment on what is good

Some people are over-zealously in making observations and passing comments.  They do not seem to ever stop praising or being complimentary.  However, as the old saying goes, "When something transgresses the limits, it becomes its opposite", or whoever hurries for something before its due time, is often punished by being deprived thereof.

Do praise things that are beautiful and charming things over which a person feels happy when they are noticed, where he expects admiration and is moved upon hearing words of praise. As for things that people usually feel embarrassed about, or feel mortified upon noticing, then close your eyes to those. Dear brother, he did not ask you for your advice. You are not a professional decorator whose advice should be sought. When the guest finished eating, he said, "Praise be to Allah who fed us, quenched our thirst and made us content with what He has given us. 'For example: - You enter your friend's house and notice that the chairs are very old.  Be careful that you do not become an irritating person who cannot cease to offer his unwanted advice. Be careful and do not let your tongue slip by saying: "Why don't you buy new chairs? Half of the chandelier is not functional.  Why don't you buy a new one? The paint on your wall is peeling! Why don't you paint the wall?"

Remain silent. Perhaps he is not able to change the decoration.

Perhaps he is financially restricted, and so on. None is more awkward than a man who embarrasses people by noticing things that humiliate him, and then rouses the topic and begins to pass comments. Similarly, if his garments were old, or his car AC was not working, then either speak well, or remain silent. They say that a man once visited his friend.  His friend, being the host, gave him bread to eat with oil. The guest then said, "If only there was thyme with the bread!" The host then went to his family and asked for some thyme, but found out that they had none.  He then went out to buy some, but he did not have enough money. The shop keeper refused to sell it to him on credit.  Thus, he came back home, took his utensil with which he made ablution and gave it to the shop keeper as a deposit, so that in case he was not able to pay for the thyme, the shop keeper could always sell the utensil to recover his money.  He then took the thyme and returned to the guest and gave it to him.

The host, upon hearing this, sighed in pain and said, "If Allah really had made you content with what He has given you, and then my ablution utensil would not have been given as a security!" Similarly, if you were to visit a patient, do not say to him, "Oh! Your face has gone yellow! Your eyes seem to be wandering! Your skin is dry!" How strange! Are you! His doctor? Speak well, or remain silent.It is said that a man once visited a patient and sat next to him for a while.  He then asked him as to what was ailing him. The patient told him what is wrong with him, and that his illness was serious. The visitors, upon hearing this, screamed and said: "Oh no! So and so, a friend of mine had the same illness and he died because of it! My brother's friend also caught this disease, and he remained bed ridden until he died! My brother in law's neighbor also caught this disease and died:' All the while, the patient listening to this was about to explode! Formerly, when the visitor finished what he had to say and decided to leave, he turned to the patient and said, "By the way, do you advise me with anything?" The patient said, "Yes! When you finally leave, do not bother ever coming back to me!" If you visit a patient, then do not mention death to him. It is also said that once an old woman's friend, who was another old woman, fell ill.  The old woman would ask her sons, one by one, to take her to her ill friend for a visit, but they would continue to make excuses, until one of the sons finally agreed to take her. So he took her in his car. When they arrived at the house, the old woman got out of the car while the son waited. 

The old woman then visited her friend to find that she was completely be set by her illness. She greeted her and prayed for her.

When she began to leave, she walked for a while in the lobby with her friend's weeping daughters, and said, innocently, "Unfortunately, I can’t come to you whenever I want. Your mother severely ill and it seems that she will die.” So let me say to you now ‘May Allah grants you all an appropriate patience to her death. ’Hence, be careful, O intelligent person! Only pass comment on things that are a source of joy, and not depressing.

A problem, If you were ever forced to comment on something bad, such as dirt on a garment, or a bad odor, then do so tactfully. Be clever and kind while doing so.

Improve yourself

 You sit with someone who is twenty years old and notice that he has particular etiquette's, logic and thought.  You then sit with him when he is thirty to discover that he is exactly the way he was ten years ago and has not improved at all.  Yet, you sit with others and you feel that they are actually taking benefit from their lives.  You discover that they improve themselves on a daily basis.  In fact, not an hour passes except that they improve either religiously or otherwise.  If you wish to ponder upon the different types of people with respect to self improvement, then think about the following:

There are those who like to watch those satellite television channels that help their general knowledge and intelligence grow.  They benefit from other people's experiences by watching constructive discussions, from which they learn the characteristics of debating and improve their language, understanding, and expertise in debate and persuasion.

Then there are those who cannot miss out on a series about a failed love story, or an emotional play, or a horror film, or films about useless fantasies with no link to reality at all.

Notice the difference between the two after five or ten years.  Which of the two would have improved the most in his skills and ability to fathom information, gain general knowledge, have the power to convince others, or successfully be able to cope with diverse situations? No doubt the first person! You will find the mannerisms of the first person to be completely different.

When he argues, he does so on the basis of legal references, facts and figures, while the second can only quote the words of actors and singers, so much so that one such person once said during a discussion, "Allah says: 'Strive, my servant, and 1 shall

strive with you!"

We informed him that this is not a verse from the Qur'an.  His complexion changed and he fell silent.  I then thought about the phrase and it occurred to me that it is an Egyptian idiom which was imprinted on his mind after watching a drama series!

Let's look at it from another angle that of reading newspapers and magazines.  How many people take an interest in reading beneficial news and information that helps them in developing their personality, improves their skills and increases their general knowledge? Yet, how many are those who cannot read except sports and entertainment news? This is true to such an extent that many newspapers compete with each other by increasing the sports and entertainment pages at the cost of other sections.  The same can be said about our gatherings and the things in which we spend our time.

Hence, if you would like to be a head instead of a tail, then eagerly try to practice all skills, regardless of what they may be.  'Abdullah was an energetic person but lacking in certain skills.  One day, he left his home to pray Dhuhr in the mosque.  It was his zeal for the prayer and respect for his religion which brought him out to pray.  He was walking fast in order to reach the mosque before the lqamah was given.  On his way, he passed by a date palm tree on top of which there was a man in uniform, working on the tree.  'Abdullah became surprised and thought, "Who is this man that does not care about the prayer! It is as if he didn't even hear the Adhan, or doesn't care about the lqamah, which is about to go!"

He shouted in anger, "Get down and pray!" The man responded coldly, "OK, OK. . :'

He said, again, "Hurry up and pray, you donkey!"

The man screamed, “You called me a donkey?!" He then took a branch of the tree and descended in order to hit him over the head with it! 'Abdullah hid his face with his headscarf so the man wouldn't recognise him and went on to the mosque.  The man descended from the tree in anger, went to his house, prayed and rested for a while.  He then returned to the tree to finish his job.  Then 'Asr time came and 'Abdullah went to the mosque again.  On his way he passed by the same tree and noticed the same man working.  He decided to change his method altogether and said, 'Assalamu 'alaykum! How are you?"

The man replied, "Alhamdulillah, I am fine!"

He said, "Give me some good news.  How are the dates this year?"

The man said,"AlHamdulillah. "

'Abdullah said, "May Allah give you success and provision, make your life easy for you, and not deprive you of the reward for your work!"

The man was overjoyed at hearing this supplication and said ameen to the prayer.

'Abdullah then said, "It seems that you are so preoccupied with work that perhaps you didn't notice the Adhan for 'Asr prayer.  The Adhan has been called and the lqamah is about to be given.  Perhaps you should get down, relax a little and get ready for prayer. After the prayer you can get on with your work again.  May Allah keep you healthy. "

The man said, "InshaAllah . . .  lnshaAllah . . . " and began to descend gently.

He then turned to 'Abdullah, shook his hand warmly and said, "I would like to thank you for your excellent manners.  As for the one who passed by me at Dhuhr time, I wish I could see him and show him who the real donkey is!"

The result. . .

Your skills of dealing with others determine how they deal with you. 

 

Good Manner and Muslim

The life of a Muslim must stand on seven foundations:

·         Adherence to Allah's Book,

·         Following the way of Allah's Messenger Peace Be Upon Him,

·         Eating that which is lawful,

·         Refraining from harming others,

·         Staying away from sins,

·         Repenting frequently,

·         Fulfilling the rights of others.

In the past and present, the great Islamic jurists of this nation have confirmed that the Muslim's life must be based on the aforesaid foundations. Brother Muslim, you must remain firm upon those seven comprehensive foundations - by the Will of Allah - until the day you die.

A Believer worships Allah by being well mannered and dealing pleasantly with all, so that Allah may love him and make him beloved to his creation. Whoever considers exercising good manners as worship will deal courteously with everyone, the rich or poor, a manager or a tea boy.

If one day a poor cleaner on the street stretches out his hand for you to shake it, and another day a director of some company stretches his hand out in the same way, will you treat them equally?

Will you welcome them both and smile at them equally?

The Prophet (PBUH) will certainly treat them both equally in terms of welcoming them and showing them sincere conduct and compassion.

Who knows, perhaps the one you may belittle and look down upon might actually be better in Allah’s sight than he who you look up and show honor and respect.

Quran (68:4) “and you (Prophet- PBUH) are certainly on the most exalted standard of moral excellence.”

Here, this sentence gives two meanings: (1) "That you stand exalted to a high and noble character; that is why you are enduring all these hardships in your mission of guiding the people to the Right Way, otherwise a man of weak character could not have done so;" and (2) "that besides the Qur'an, your high and noble character also is a clear proof that the accusation of madness that the disbelievers bring against you is absolutely false, for high morals and madness cannot co-exist in one and the same person. " A madman is he whose balance of mind is upset, who has lost his temperamental equilibrium. Contrary to this, the high morals of a person testify that he is a right-minded and sound-natured person, who possesses perfect temperamental equilibrium. The people of Makkah were not unaware of the morals and character possessed by the Holy Messenger of AIIah. Therefore, it was enough just to make a reference to them so that every reasonable man of Makkah was made to think how shameless were those people who were calling a man of such sublime morals and character a madman. Their absurd conduct was not at all harmful for the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) but for themselves, for maddened in their craze for opposition they were saying such a thing about him which could not be regarded as credible by any man of understanding. The same also is the case with those men of knowledge and scholarship, who in the modern time are accusing the Holy prophet (upon whom be peace) of having fits of madness and epilepsy. The Qur'an is available everywhere in the world and the Holy Prophet's life also exists in the written form in entire detail. Every person can see it for himself what a foolish and meaningless thing is being uttered in their blind enmity by those who regard the man who brought this unique and matchless Book and who possessed such sublime morals and character as a mentally deranged person. The best description of the Holy Prophet's character has been given by Hadrat 'A'ishah in her statement: Kana khuluqu-hul-Qur an: the Qur'an was his character." Imam Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Da'ud. Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Darimi and Ibn Jarir have cited, with a little variation in wording, this saying with several chains of transmitters. This means that the Holy Prophet had not merely presented the teaching of the Qur'an before the world but also given its practical demonstration by his personal example. Whatever was enjoined in the Qur'an was acted upon practically by himself in the first instance; whatever was forbidden in it was shunned and avoided by himself most of all. His own self was characterized most of all by the moral qualities which were declared as sublime by it, and his own self was most free from those qualities which were declared as abhorrent and reprehensible by it. In another tradition Hadrat 'A'ishah has stated: "The Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) never hit a servant, never raised his hand on a woman never used his hand to kill a person outside the battlefield, never avenged himself on anyone for an injury caused unless someone violated a sanctity enjoined by AIlah and he avenged it for the sake of Allah. His practice was that whenever he had to choose between two things, he would choose the easier one unless it was a sin; and if it was a sin he would keep away from it most of all" (Musnad Ahmad). Hadrat Anas says: "I served the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) for ten years. He never did so much as express even a slight disgust over what I did or said: he never asked why I had done what I had done, and never inquired why I had not done what I had not done." (Bukhari, Muslim).

Quran (3:159) It was thanks to Allah's mercy that you were gentle to them. Had you been rough, hard-hearted, they would surely have scattered away from you. So pardon them, and pray for their forgiveness, and take counsel from them in matters of importance. And when you are resolved on a course of action places your trust in Allah; surely Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).

(21:107) (O Muhammad!) We have sent you to be a real blessing for the people of the world. 

This verse (107) can also be translated as: "We have sent you only as a blessing for the people of the world". In both cases it will mean that the appointment of the Holy Prophet is indeed a blessing and mercy of Allah to the whole world. This is because he aroused the neglectful world froth its heedlessness and gave it the knowledge of the criterion between truth and falsehood, and warned it very clearly of both the ways of salvation and. ruin. This fact has been stated here 'to tell the disbelievers of Makkah that they were quite wrong in their estimate of the Holy Prophet that he was an affliction and distress for them because they said, "This man has sown seeds of discard among our clans and separated near relatives from each other." They have been told here, "O foolish people, you are wrong to presume that he is an affliction for you; but he is in reality a blessing and mercy of Allah for you."

"Shall I not tell you who among you is the most beloved to me and will be closest to me on the Day of Resurrection?" He repeated it two or three times, and they said, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.).’  He said: "Those of you who are the best in attitude and character." (Reported by Ahmad and its Isnad is Jayyid) Some reports add: "Those who are down to earth and humble, who get along with others and with whom others feel comfortable."

One of the attributes of the believer is that he gets along with others and others feel comfortable with him. He likes people and they like him. If he is not like this, then he will not be able to convey the message or achieve anything of significance. Whoever is like that has no goodness in him, as in the Hadith:
"The believer gets along with people and they feel comfortable with him. There is no goodness in the one who does not get along with people and with whom they do not feel comfortable.” (Reported by Ahmad and al-Bazar; the men of Ahmad's Isnad are Rijal as-Sahih)

The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) set the highest example of good behaviour towards people. He was skilful in softening their hearts and called them to follow him in word and deed. He demonstrated how to reach people's hearts and win their love and admiration.

He was always cheerful and easy-going, never harsh. When he came to any gathering, he would sit wherever there was a free space, and he told others to do likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no one who was present in a gathering would feel that anyone else was receiving preferential treatment. If anyone came to him and asked for something, he would give it to them, or at least respond with kind words. His good attitude extended to everyone and he was like a father to them. The people gathered around him were truly equal, distinguished only by their level of taqwa. They were humble, respecting their elders, showing compassion to young ones, giving priority to those in need and taking care of strangers.

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #271, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban.

...Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners."

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #286 and Ahmad

Abu Huraira, r.a., said, "I heard Abu al Qasim (the Prophet saaws), say, 'The best among you in Islam are those with the best manners, so long as they develop a sense of understanding.' "

Hadith - At-Tabaraanee collected it, and Albani authenticated it in Silsilatul-AHaadeethis-Saheehah (#432).

The Prophet (saaws) said: "The most beloved of Allah's servants to Allah are those with the best manners."

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 285, Hakim, and Abu Dawud

... Abu Huraira, r.a., said that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer."

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 290, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad

... Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet of Allah (saaws) said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners." 

Good Manners

Good Manner

A Believer worships Allah by being well mannered and dealing pleasantly with all, so that Allah may love him and make him beloved to his creation. Whoever considers exercising good manners as worship will deal courteously with everyone, be the rich or poor, a manager or a tea boy.
If one day a poor cleaner on the street stretches out his hand for you to shake it, and another day a director of some company stretches his hand out in the same way, will you treat them equally?
Will you welcome them both and smile at them equally?
The Prophet (PBUH) will certainly treat them both equally in terms of welcoming them and showing them sincere conduct and compassion.
Who knows, perhaps the one you may belittle and look down upon might actually be better in Allah’s sight than he who you look up and show honor and respect.

Quran (68:4) “and you(Prophet- PBUH) are certainly on the most exalted standard of moral excellence.”
Here, this sentence gives two meanings: (1) "That you stand exalted to a high and noble character; that is why you are enduring all these hardships in your mission of guiding the people to the Right Way, otherwise a man of weak character could not have done so;" and (2) "that besides the Qur'an, your high and noble character also is a clear proof that the accusation of madness that the disbelievers bring against you is absolutely false, for high morals and madness cannot co-exist in one and the same person. " A madman is he whose balance of mind is upset, who has lost his temperamental equilibrium. Contrary to this, the high morals of a person testify that he is a right-minded and sound-natured person, who possesses perfect temperamental equilibrium. The people of Makkah were not unaware of the morals and character possessed by the Holy Messenger of AIIah. Therefore, it was enough just to make a reference to them so that every reasonable man of Makkah was made to think how shameless were those people who were calling a man of such sublime morals and character a madman. Their absurd conduct was not at all harmful for the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) but for themselves, for maddened in their craze for opposition they were saying such a thing about him which could not be regarded as credible by any man of understanding. The same also is the case with those men of knowledge and scholarship, who in the modern time are accusing the Holy prophet (upon whom be peace) of having fits of madness and epilepsy. The Qur'an is available everywhere in the world and the Holy Prophet's life also exists in the written form in entire detail. Every person can see it for himself what a foolish and meaningless thing is being uttered in their blind enmity by those who regard the man who brought this unique and matchless Book and who possessed such sublime morals and character as a mentally deranged person. The best description of the Holy Prophet's character has been given by Hadrat 'A'ishah in her statement: Kana khuluqu-hul-Qur an: the Qur'an was his character." Imam Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Da'ud. Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Darimi and Ibn Jarir have cited, with a little variation in wording, this saying with several chains of transmitters. This means that the Holy Prophet had not merely presented the teaching of the Qur'an before the world but also given its practical demonstration by his personal example. Whatever was enjoined in the Qur'an was acted upon practically by himself in the first instance; whatever was forbidden in it was shunned and avoided by himself most of all. His own self was characterized most of all by the moral qualities which were declared as sublime by it, and his own self was most free from those qualities which were declared as abhorrent and reprehensible by it. In another tradition Hadrat 'A'ishah has stated: "The Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) never hit a servant, never raised his hand on a woman never used his hand to kill a person outside the battlefield, never avenged himself on anyone for an injury caused unless someone violated a sanctity enjoined by AIlah and he avenged it for the sake of Allah. His practice was that whenever he had to choose between two things, he would choose the easier one unless it was a sin; and if it was a sin he would keep away from it most of all" (Musnad Ahmad). Hadrat Anas says: "I served the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) for ten years. He never did so much as express even a slight disgust over what I did or said: he never asked why I had done what I had done, and never inquired why I had not done what I had not done." (Bukhari, Muslim).

Quran (3:159) It was thanks to Allah's mercy that you were gentle to them. Had you been rough, hard-hearted, they would surely have scattered away from you. So pardon them, and pray for their forgiveness, and take counsel from them in matters of importance. And when you are resolved on a course of action places your trust in Allah; surely Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).
(21:107) (O Muhammad!) We have sent you to be a real blessing for the people of the world.
This verse (107) can also be translated as: "We have sent you only as a blessing for the people of the world". In both cases it will mean that the appointment of the Holy Prophet is indeed a blessing and mercy of Allah to the whole world. This is because he aroused the neglectful world froth its heedlessness and gave it the knowledge of the criterion between truth and falsehood, and warned it very clearly of both the ways of salvation and. ruin. This fact has been stated here 'to tell the disbelievers of Makkah that they were quite wrong in their estimate of the Holy Prophet that he was an affliction and distress for them because they said, "This man has sown seeds of discard among our clans and separated near relatives from each other." They have been told here, "O foolish people, you are wrong to presume that he is an affliction for you; but he is in reality a blessing and mercy of Allah for you."

"Shall I not tell you who among you is the most beloved to me and will be closest to me on the Day of Resurrection?" He repeated it two or three times, and they said, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.).’ He said: "Those of you who are the best in attitude and character." (Reported by Ahmad and its Isnad is Jayyid) Some reports add: "Those who are down to earth and humble, who get along with others and with whom others feel comfortable."
One of the attributes of the believer is that he gets along with others and others feel comfortable with him. He likes people and they like him. If he is not like this, then he will not be able to convey the message or achieve anything of significance. Whoever is like that has no goodness in him, as in the Hadith:
"The believer gets along with people and they feel comfortable with him. There is no goodness in the one who does not get along with people and with whom they do not feel comfortable.” (Reported by Ahmad and al-Bazar; the men of Ahmad's Isnad are Rijal as-Sahih)
The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) set the highest example of good behaviour towards people. He was skilful in softening their hearts and called them to follow him in word and deed. He demonstrated how to reach people's hearts and win their love and admiration.
He was always cheerful and easy-going, never harsh. When he came to any gathering, he would sit wherever there was a free space, and he told others to do likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no one who was present in a gathering would feel that anyone else was receiving preferential treatment. If anyone came to him and asked for something, he would give it to them, or at least respond with kind words. His good attitude extended to everyone and he was like a father to them. The people gathered around him were truly equal, distinguished only by their level of taqwa. They were humble, respecting their elders, showing compassion to young ones, giving priority to those in need and taking care of strangers.
Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #271, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban.
...Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners."
Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #286 and Ahmad
Abu Huraira, r.a., said, "I heard Abu al Qasim (the Prophet saaws), say, 'The best among you in Islam are those with the best manners, so long as they develop a sense of understanding.' "
Hadith - At-Tabaraanee collected it, and Albani authenticated it in Silsilatul-AHaadeethis-Saheehah (#432).
The Prophet (saaws) said: "The most beloved of Allah's servants to Allah are those with the best manners."
Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 285, Hakim, and Abu Dawud
... Abu Huraira, r.a., said that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer."
Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 290, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad
... Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet of Allah (saaws) said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners."