It may be the case that not all of what a person says or does is wrong, so it is wise to limit our denunciation only to that which is wrong, and not to generalize by condemning everything that is said or done as being wrong. This is indicated in the report narrated by Bukhari in his Saheeh from ar-Rubayyi‘ bint Mu‘awwadh ibn ‘Afra’, who said:
“The Prophet came and entered, and sat down on my bed the way you sat down. Some young girls of ours began beating on the daff (hand-drum) and singing songs eulogizing those of our forefathers who had been killed at Badr. Then one of them said, ‘Among us there is a Prophet who knows the future.’ The Prophet said; ‘Do not say that; say what you were saying before.’ ”110
According to a report narrated by At-Tirmidhi:
“...The Messenger of Allah said to her: ‘Do not say this; say what you were saying before.’”111
According to a report narrated by Ibn Majah, he (the Prophet) said:
“Do not say this, say; no one knows the future except Allah.”112
There is no doubt that this kind of treatment makes the person feel that the one who is striving to point out mistakes and correct them is fair and just, and this makes him more likely to accept his advice. This is in contrast to some of those who want to denounce errors, but get so angry with the mistake committed that they go to extremes in their denunciation and condemn everything done and said by the one who has made the mistake, good and bad alike. This makes the person reject what they say and refuse to follow their advice.
In some cases, the mistake is not m the words themselves, but in the occasion or context in which they are uttered. For example, when somebody dies, one person may say, “al~ Fatihah and everyone present will recite it. They believe that there is nothing wrong with this because what they are reciting is the Qur’an, not words of kufr. It has to be explained to them that what is wrong with this action is thinking that we should recite al~ Fatihah on such occasions as an act of worship without any shares‘ah evidence for doing so, which is the essence of bid'ah. This is what Ibn ‘Umar pointed out to a man who sneezed beside him and said, “al-Hamdu Lilian was-salam ‘ala Rasool Allah (praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah).” Ibn ‘Umar said, “I could say, ‘al-Hamdu Lillah was- salam ‘ala Rasool Allah, but this is not how the Messenger of Allah taught us. He taught us to say, 1al-Hamdu Lillah 'ala kulli hal (Praise be to Allah whatever the circumstances may be).”113
From the excellence of one's Islamic to leave that which does not concern him."
How beautiful is this expression, especially if you were to hear it from, the righteous and pure mouth of the Messenger of Allah. May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him! Yes, to leave that which does not concern him!
How many number of people who bother you by interfering a matters that do not concern them? They bother you when they see your watch, "How much did you buy this for?"
You reply, "This was given to me as a gift" Then they would say, "A gift? From whom?"
You reply, "From a friend. "
He would continue, "Your friend from the university? Or your locality? Or elsewhere?"
You reply, "Well, a friend of mine from the university."
He keeps pressing, "Okay, but what was the occasion?"
You respond, "Well, an occasion, from our university days. "
He then says, "Yes, but what occasion in particular? Graduation? Or when you went on a trip? Or something else?"
He would continue to ask you questions about an utterly worthless matter!
I ask you, by Allah, Wouldn't you feel like shouting at him, saying, "Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!'
And even worse is if he were to put you in an awkward situation by asking you an embarrassing question in public!
I remember, once I was in a gathering with a group of my friends. After the Maghrib prayer, one of my friends mobile phone rang. He was sitting next to me.
He answered the phone,"Yes?"
His wife shouted on the phone, "Hello! Where are you, you donkey?"
Her voice was so loud that I could hear their conversation well.
He said, "I am fine, May Allah protect you'
It seemed as though he had promised her to take her to her family, but became busy with us.
His wife became really angry and said, "May Allah not protect you! You are quite happy to be with your friends all the while I wait for you.
By Allah, You Are a Bull!"
He said, "May Allah be pleased with you. I will come to you after 'lshaa"
I realized that his speech did not exactly correspond to hers. There after I realized that he was speaking in this manner in order to save him self from embarrassment.
He then finished his call. I began to look at those present, thinking to myself that one of them will ask him, "Who was that on the phone? What does he want from you? Why did your face change after the conversation?" But Allah had mercy on him; No one interfered in a matter which did not concern them.
Likewise, If you were to visit a patient and ask him about his illness, and he were to reply vaguely, "Alhamdulillah, nothing major, just minor illness", and such expressions that do not explicitly answer the question, Do not embarrass him by persisting on asking detailed questions, such as, "I am sorry, but what exactly is the illness.
Please clarify what you said" and so on. Why the need to embarrass him?
From excellence of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. I mean, are you really waiting for him to tell you, "I have hemorrhoids", or "I have an injury, in an embarrassing place", etc?
As long as he gave you a vague response, there is no need to ask him for details. I do not mean that he should not question the patient about his illness. What I mean is that one should not ask detailed questions about another illness.
Another example of this is a person who called out to a student in front of all the people in a public gathering, and asked in a loud voice, "Hey! Ahmad! Did you pass?"
Ahmad said, "Yes'
He asked, What percentage? What grade?"
If he truly cared for him, he would have asked him when he was alone. There was also no need to go into details by asking "What percentage? Why didn't you revise? Why weren't you accepted in the university?"
If he was really ready to help him, then he could have taken him to the side and spoken to him about whatever, he liked. But as for displaying his dirty laundry in public, then that certainly was not genuine!
The Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said,"From the excellence of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. "
"However, be careful. Do not make a matter larger than it is."
Once I was traveling to Madinah and was busy delivering a number of lectures. So I agreed with a kind young man to take my two sons, 'Abd ar Rahman and Ibrahim, after 'Asr, to their Qur'an memorization circles, or some summer amusement center, and to return with them after 'lsha.
'Abd ar Rahman was ten years old. I feared that that young man may ask him some useless questions, such as, "What is your mother's name? Where is your house? How many brothers do you have? How much pocket money does your father give you?'
So I warned 'Abd ar Rahman and said, "If he were to ask you an inappropriate question, just say to him that the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said, 'From the excellence of one's Islamic to leave that which does not concern him. "'
I repeated to him the Hadith until he had memorised it.
'Abd ar Rahman and his brother then sat in the car with this young man. 'Abd ar Rahman was at the time both very tense and respectful.
The young man said out of kindness,"May Allah prolong your life, 0 'Abd ar Rahman!"
Abd ar Rahman replied, "May Allah prolong your life, too!"
The poor young man wanted to lighten up the atmosphere a bit, so he said, "Is the Shaykh delivering any lecture today?"
'Abd ar Rahman tried to remember the Hadith, but his memory did not help him, so he yelled, "Do not interfere in things that do not concern you!"
The young man said, "I mean, I would just like to attend his lecture and benefit."
'Abd ar Rahman then thought that he was trying to be clever, so he repeated the same response,'
"Do not interfere in things that do not concern you."
The young man then said, "I am sorry, Abd ar Rahman. But what I mean is... ",
But 'Abd ar Rahman again shouted, "NO! Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!"
They remained on these terms until I returned.
Abd ar Rahman then informed me of the entire story with pride, so I laughed and had to explain the concept to him once again.
Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you
Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in other ' affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end.
Being too harsh could make matters worse and do more harm than good. We can learn this from looking at how the Prophet (SAW) dealt with the mistake made by the bedouin whourinated in the mosque, as was reported by Anas ibn Malik (RA), who said:
“Whilst we were in the mosque with the Messenger of Allah, a bedouin came and stood urinating m the mosque. The Companions of the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Stop it! Stop it!’ But the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Do not intercept him; leave him alone. ’ So they left him until he had finished urinating, then the Messenger of Allah called him and said to him, ‘In these mosques it is not right to do anything like urinating or defecating; they are only for remembering Allah, praying and reading the Qur’an,1 or words to that effect. Then he commanded a man who was there to bring a bucket of water and throw it over (the urine), and he did so.”
The principle which the Prophet (SAW) followed in dealing with this mistake was to treat the man gently, so as not to be harsh with him. Bukbari reported from Abu Hurayrah (RA):
“A bedouin urinated in the mosque, and the people got up to stop him out. The Messenger of Allah said to them, ‘Leave him alone, and throw a bucket of water over it. You have been sent to make things easy for people, not to make things hard.’”61
The Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them all) were very keen to denounce the bad thing they had seen and to keep theirmosque clean and pure, as is indicated in the various reports of this hadith, which describe them as shouting at him, getting up to sort him out, rebuking him and hastening to deal with him, or telling him to “Stop it'”62
But the Prophet (SAW) was thinking of the likely consequences of the two options — stopping him or leaving him alone. If they tried to stop him, forcing a man to suppress his urination could do him harm, and if he was unable to stop but moved away because he was afraid of them, the impurity would be spread over a wider area of the mosque and on the man’s body and clothing. The Prophet (SAW) had the farsightedness to see that leaving the man alone until he had finished urinating was the lesser of the two evils, especially since the man had already started doing it, and it was a problem that they would be able to do something about by cleaning afterwards. So he told his Companions to leave him alone and not to interrupt him. He told them to leave him alone because this was in the better interests of all and would ward off a worse evil by putting up with the lesser evil.
It is also reported that the Prophet (SAW) asked the man the reason for his action. At-Tabarani reported in al-Mujam ai- Kabeer that Ibn ‘Abbas (RA) said:
“A bedouin came to the Prophet and pledged allegiance to him in the mosque. Then he went away and started to urinate. The people wanted to stop him, but the Prophet said, ‘Do not stop a man when he is urinating,’ Then he asked him, ‘Are you not a Muslim?’ He said, ‘Of course, yes.’ He said, ‘What made you urinate in our mosque?’ He said, ‘By the
One Who sent you with the truth, I thought it was just like any other place so I urinated in it.’ The Prophet called for a bucket of water and poured it over the urine ”63
This wise manner of dealing with the problem had a far- reaehing effect on the bedouin, as is clear from his reaction. Ibn Majah reported that Abu Hurayrah said:
“A bedouin entered the mosque where the Messenger of Allah was sitting, and said, ‘O' Allah, forgive me and Muhammad, and do not forgive anyone else.’
The Messenger of Allah smiled and said, ‘You are narrowing something vast.’ Then (the bedouin) went away to the furthest part of the mosque, opened his legs, and began to urinate. After he had learnt better, the bedouin said, ‘He got up, may my mother and my father be sacrificed for him, he did not rebuke me or insult me. He just said, ‘We do not urinate in this mosque; it was only built for the remembrance of Allah and for prayer.’ Then he called for a bucket of water and poured it over the urine.’”64
Ibn Hajar (RA)mentioned in his commentary a number of things we learn from the hadith about the bedouin, among which are the following:
—We should be gentle when dealing with one who is ignorant and teach him what he needs to know without rebuking him, so long as he is not acting out of stubbornness, especially if he is one who needs to be won over.
—Prophet (SAW)was kind and he dealt nicely with him.
—The idea of taking precautions against impurity (najasah) was established well in the minds of the Sahabah, which is why they hastened to denounce it in the presence of the Prophet without first asking his permission. The idea of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil was also established well in their minds.
—We should also hasten to remove anything objectionable when there is nothing to stop us from doing so, because when the man had finished urinating, the Prophet (SAW) issued instructions that the place should be cleaned with water.
Something happened to ‘Umar (RA) which he himself told about: “I heard Hisham ibn Hakeem ibn Hizam reciting Sooratal- Farqan during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allah. I listened to his recitation, and he was reciting it differently to the way that the Messenger of Allah used to recite it. I nearly interrupted his prayer, but I waited until he had said the salam, then I grabbed him by his cloak and said, ‘Who taught you to recite this Soorh I heard you reciting?’ He said, The Messenger of Allah taught me to recite it.’ I said, ‘You are lying! The Messenger of Allah taught me to recite it differently/ I took him to the Messenger of Allah and said, I heard him reciting So oral al- Furqan differently than the way you taught me to recite it ’ The Messenger of Allah said,
‘Let him go. Recite, O’ Hisham.’ He recited it as I had heard him recite it. The Messenger of Allah said,
This is how it was revealed.’ Then he said, ‘Recite,
O' ‘Umar.’ So I recited it as he had taught me. The Messenger of Allah said, This is how it was revealed. This Qur’an was revealed with seven ways of recitation for ease, so recite it in the way that is easiest to you.’58
Among the educational methods we learn from this story are the following.
— Telling each one to recite in front of the other and approving their recitation was more effective in confirming that both were correct and neither was wrong.
— When the Prophet (SAW) told ‘ Umar to let go of Hisham. this was preparing both parties to listen in a calm manner. This was an indication that ‘Umar had been too hasty.
— A person who is seeking knowledge should not be too hasty to condemn any opinion that differs from that with which he is familiar; he should first be sure of what he is saying, because that opinion may turn out to be a valid scholarly opinion.
Another relevant point is that one should not hasten to punish someone who makes a mistake, as we see in the following story.
An-Nasa’i reported from "Abbad ibn Sharhabeel who said:
“I came with my (paternal) uncles to Madeenah, and we entered one of the gardens of the city. I rubbed some of the wheat, and the owner of the garden came and took my cloak and hit me. I came to the Messenger of Allah asking for his help. He sent for that man and they brought him to the Prophet. He said to him, ‘What made you do that?’ He said, ‘O’ Messenger of Allah, he went into my garden and took some of my wheat and rubbed it.’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘You did not teach him if it was the matter of him not knowing, and you did not feed him if it was the matter of him being hungry. Give him back his cloak.’ And the Messenger of Allah ordered that I should be given a wasq or half a wasq (measure of wheat).”59
From this story we learn that we should find out the circumstances of the one who is making a mistake or acting in an aggressive manner, so that we may know the right way to deal with him.
The Quality Chain We may also note that the Prophet (SAW) did not punish the owner of the garden, because he was in the right but he had handled the matter wrong. He pointed out to him that the way he had dealt with someone who did not know was inappropriate in such circumstances, then he taught, him how to handle the matter properly, and told him to give back the garment he had taken from the hungry man.
Abu Umamah ibn Sahl ibu Haueef reported that his father told him that the Messenger of Allah went out, and they traveled with him in the direction of Makkah, until they reached the ravine of al-Khazzar near al-Juhfah. Sahl ibn Haneef did ghusl, and he was a white man with a handsome body and beautiful skin. 'Amir ibn Rabee‘ah, the brother of Banu ‘Adiyy ibn Ka‘b looked at him whilst he was doing ghusl and said, ‘I have never seen anything like what I have seen today, not even the skin of the virgin who is hidden away!’ (referring to the whiteness of Sahl’s skin). Sahl fell to the ground (he had an epileptic fit). The Messenger of Allah came and it was said to him, ‘Do you want to see Sahl? By Allah, he cannot raise his head or wake up.: He asked, ‘Whose fault is this?’ They said, 4 ‘Amir ibn Rabee‘ah looked at him.’ The Messenger of Allah called ‘Amir and rebuked him angrily, and said,
‘Why would any one of you kill his brother? If any one of you sees that his brother has something he likes, let him pray for blessing for him.’ Then he said to him, ‘Wash yourself to help him’. So he washed his race, his hands up to the elbows, his knees, the sides of his feet and inside his izar (lower garment) in a vessel. Then the Prophet said, Tour that water over him.’ So he poured the water over his head and back
from behind, tilting the vessel, Sahl got up and went with the people and there was nothing wrong with
liim.”87
According to a report narrated by Malik (SAW) Muhammad ibn Abu Umamah ibn Sahl ihn Haneef said that he heard his father saying: “Abu Sahl ibn Haneef did ghusl in al-Khazzar and took oft' the garment he was wearing. ‘Amir ibn Rabee'ah was looking at him, and Sahl was a white man with a beautiful skin. ‘Amir ibn Rabee‘ah said to him, ‘I have never seen anything like what I have seen today, not even the skin of a virgin!’ Sahl fell down on the spot and became seriously ill. The Messenger of Allah came and was told, ‘Sahl has fallen ill, and cannot go with you, O’ Messenger of Allah.’ Sahl told him what had happened with ‘Amir, and the Messenger of Allah said,
‘Why would any one of you kill his brother? You should have asked for blessing for him. The (evil) eye is real. Do wudoo’ to help him.’ So ‘Amir did wudoo and Sahl got up and went with the Messenger of Allah, and there was nothing wrong with him.’”88
What we learn from this story is:
— The teacher [i.e.. the Prophet (SAW) got angry with the one who caused harm to his Muslim brother.
— He explained the harmful effects of the mistake and that it could lead to death.
— He pointed the way to that which would prevent harms befalling a Muslim.
The Prophet (SAW) did this in a number of ways, including the following:
Drawing an individual’s attention to his mistake so that he could put it right himself.
An example of this is the report narrated by Abu Sa‘eed al- Khudri, who said that he was with the Messenger of Allah, and the Prophet entered and saw a man sitting in the middle of ‘he mosque, clasping his fingers together and talking to
himself. The Prophet (SAW) gestured towards him, but he did not notice. So he turned to Abu Sa'eed and said,
‘If one of you is praying, he should not clasp his fingers together, because this clasping comes from the Shaytan, and you are in a state of prayer so long as you are in the mosque, until you go out.’”
— Asking the person to do something again correctly, if this is possible.
Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that a man entered the mosque whilst the Messenger of Allah was sitting in a far comer. He prayed, then he came and greeted him with salam. The Messenger of Allah said,
“wa 'alaykas-salam, go back and pray, because you have not prayed.” So he went back and prayed, then he came back and greeted the Prophet, who said, “Wa ‘alaykas-salarn, go back and pray, because you have not prayed (correctly).” On the second occasion, or subsequently, the man said, “Teach me, O’ Messenger of Allah.” He said, “When you stand up to pray, do wudoo ’ properly, then face the Qiblah aud say Takbeer (Alla.hu Akbar']. Then recite whatever is easy for you of the Qur’an, then bow until you are at ease in rukoo ‘ (bowing), then stand up until your back is completely straight. Then prostrate until you are at ease in sujood. (prostration), then sit up until you are at ease in your sitting, then
prostrate again until you are at ease in your sujood, then sit up again until you are at ease in your sitting.
Do this in all your prayers.”
We should note that the Prophet (SAW) used to pay attention to the actions of the people around him so that he could teach them. According to a report narrated by an-Nasa’i:
“A man entered the mosque and prayed, whilst the Messenger of Allah was watching him. When he finished, he turned and greeted the Messenger of Allah, who told him, ‘Go back and pray, for you have not prayed (correctly)’...”
Among the qualities of the educator is that he should be aware of the actions of those who are with him,
— It is a part of educational wisdom to ask a person who has made a mistake to re-do his action, so that he can notice his mistake and put it right himself, especially when it is an obvious mistake that does not befit him. He may have done it out of forgetfulness, so this will remind him.
— If the person who has made a mistake does not realize it, it must be pointed out and explained to him.
— Giving information to a person who is interested and has asked about it himself is more effective and is more likely to be remembered than handing it out to someone who has not made any such inquiries.
The methods of teaching are many, and the educator can choose whichever are best suited in any given circumstances.
Another example of asking a person to repeat his action correctly is given by Muslim in his Saheeh, where he reports that Jabir said: ““Umar ibn al-Khattab told me that,
‘A man did wudoo but missed an area on his foot in the size of a fingernail. The Prophet saw him and said, 'Go back and do your wudoo’ properly.’ So he went and did it again, then he prayed.’”
A third example was narrated by at-Tirmidhi in his Sunan from Kildah ibn Kanbal, who said that Safwan ibn Umayyah sent him with some milk, yoghurt and daghabees (cucumbers) to the Prophet, when the Prophet was at the top of the valley. He said,
“I went near him, and I did not greet him with salam or ask permission to enter, so the Prophet said, "Go out and say, ‘as-salamu ‘alaykum,’ may 1 enter?’ ”'
— Asking the person who has made the mistake to correct it as much as he can.
Bukhari reported from Ibn 'Abbas that the Prophet said,
“No man should be alone with a woman unless he is a mahram (close blood relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden).” A man stood up and said,
‘O’ Messenger of Allah, my wife has gone out for
Hajj and I have signed up for such-and-such a military campaign.’ He said, ‘Go back and do Hajj with your wife.’ ”
— Putting right the consequences of the mistake.
An-Nasa’i reported in his Sunan from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that a man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said,
“I have come to pledge allegiance to you and to make hijrah (migration). I have left my parents weeping.”
He said, “Go back to them and make them smile as you made them weep.”
Offering kaffarah (expiation) for the mistake.
If some mistakes cannot be corrected or reversed, then there are other ways offered by Islam for wiping out their effects. One of these ways is kaffarat or acts of expiation, of which there are many types, such as kaffarat al-yameen (expiation for swearing an unfulfilled oath), and expiation for dhihar (a jahili form of divorce in which one says to his wife “You are to me as my mother’s back”), and expiation for manslaughter, having intercourse during the day in Ramadan, and so on.
