Why do we search for skills?

Once I visited a deprived town to deliver a lecture, after which there came to me a teacher from outside the town.

He said, "I hope you can help us with finance to some students"

I said, "Strange! Aren't the schools government funded, and therefore free?"

He said, "Indeed they are, but we would like to fund their universities education.”

I said, "Well, the universities are also government funded. They even offer student grants."

He said, “Allow me to explain to you..."

I said, "Go ahead.”

He said, "Our students graduate from their secondary school with no less than 99%. They are so clever that if their intelligence was divided amongst the ummah, it would suffice!

But when a student becomes determined to travel outside his town to study Medicine, Engineering, Islamic Law, Computer Science or anything else, his father prevents him from going, saying, 'What you know is sufficient! Now, stay with me and be a shepherd.’

I screamed unexpectedly, "Be a shepherd?!"

He said, "Yes, a shepherd!"

And indeed, the poor boy stays with his father and becomes a shepherd, while all his abilities are wasted. Years go by and he remains a shepherd. He may even get married and have children whom he may treat exactly as he was treated by his father. Hence, all his children also become shepherds!

I asked, "So what's the solution?"

He said, "The solution is to convince the father to employ someone as a shepherd for a few hundred riyals, which we will pay, and allow his son to take full advantage of his skills and abilities. Of course, we will also continue to fund his son until he graduates.'

The teacher then lowered his head and said, "lt is inexcusable that such skills and talents in people are wasted when they long to utilise them. "

I contemplated upon what he had said and realized that we cannot reach the pinnacle except by taking advantage of the abilities we have and acquiring those that we do not.

Yes, I would challenge anyone to find a successful person, be a successful in academia, preaching, lecturing, business, medicine, engineering, or influencing others; or be a successful in family life, such as a successful father with his children, or a successful wife with her husband; or be a successful in their social life, such as a person who is successful with his neighbours and colleagues and I mean a truly successful person, Not one, ‘Who simply climbs upon others' shoulders! I would challenge anyone to find me any such highly successful person who does not practise certain interpersonal skills through which he has been able to achieve such success, whether they realise it or not.

Some people may exercise such interpersonal skills instinctively, while others may have to learn them in order to be successful, and these latter people are the types of successful personalities whose lives we would like to study and whose methods we would closely seek to follow in order to discover how they were successful, and to find out whether or not we can take their route to success.
 

A while ago, I listened to an interview with one of the most affluent people in the world, ‘Shaykh Sulayman al Rajihi’ and found him to be a mountain in terms of his manners and thoughts. This man owns billions, possesses immense real estate, has built hundreds of mosques, and has sponsored thousands of orphans. He is hugely successful. He spoke of his humble beginnings around fifty years ago, when he was a regular person who would only have enough money to feed himself for the day, and sometimes not even that.

He mentioned that he would sometimes seen people's houses to feed himself and continue working at night at a shop or money exchange. He discussed how he was once at the bottom of the mountain, and how he continued to climbed until he reached the summit.

I thought about the abilities and skills he possesses and realised that many of us are well capable of being like him, if Allah grants us the ability. If one learns these skills, exercises them, perseveres and remains steadfast, then yes, he can surely be like him.

Another reason for us to search for these skills is that some of us may have certain abilities, which we remain unaware of, or which nobody has assisted us in discovering, such as the skills of delivering a lecture, business insight, or possessing general knowledge.

One may discover these skills on his own, through a teacher's or a work colleague's help, or even through a sincere brother, however few they may be! However, these skills may remain buried inside the person until his personality becomes as stale as anyone else's, and this is when we all lose out on another leader, lecturer or scholar, or perhaps a successful husband, or a caring father.

Here we will mention certain skills which we would like to remind you of if you already possess them, or which we would like to train you in if you don't.

So come along!

A thought: When you climb a mountain, look to the top and not to the rocks that Scroll round you. Make sure of where you step as you climb and do not leap in case you lose your footing.

What are we going to learn?

People generally tend to share their moments of happiness and sorrow. They are happy when they become wealthy. They will be joyous when promoted at work, content when they’re cover from illness, and cheerful when the world smiles at them and fulfills their dreams.

Likewise, they all grieve over illness, disgrace and loss of wealth. Knowing this to be the case, let us look for ways in which to make our joy everlasting and hence overpower our sorrows. Yes, in reality life tends to be both sweet and bitter, and on this we would not disagree, but why do we often focus on our ca­lamities and sorrows, and as a result become depressed for days on end? Where an hour is enough to grieve over something, hours on end are spent grieving.

Why?

I realise that sorrow and anguish enter our hearts without seeking permission, but for each door of sadness that opens there are a thousand means of shutting it, and these are what we will expound here.

Here we will learn how to be amazing.

Why was it that when your cousin spoke at the gathering, everyone listened to him attentively? Why were they amazed at his manners of speech? Why was it that when you spoke, they all turned away and began to talk amongst themselves? Why was that? You may be more well informed, better qualified and possess a higher status than him.  How then did he manage to get all the attention and you failed?

Why is it that one father is dearly loved by his children who love to greet him and accompany him wherever he goes, while another father begs his children to accompany him while they keep making all kinds of excuses to avoid doing so?

Are they not both fathers? Then why the difference?

Here we will learn how to enjoy life, know the various techniques to attract people, influence them, persevere with their faults, deal with people with bad manners, and much, much more. So, welcome! 

A word: Success is not to discover.  what others like, it is to acquire

and practice . the kills that help. one gain their love. 

They did not benefit....

I remember once receiving a message on my mobile phone which read: “Dear Sheikh, what is the ruling on suicide?"

I called the sender to find a very young man on the other end of the line. I said, "I am sorry, I didn't understand your question. Can you please repeat your question?"

He said with a grieving voice, "The question is clear. What is the ruling on suicide?"

I decided to surprise him by saying in response something unexpected, so I said, “It is recommended!"

He screamed, "What?!"

I said, "How about if we discuss the best way for you to do it?"

The young man fell silent. I said to him, "OK. Why do you want to commit suicide?"

He said, "Because, I can't find work. People do not love me. In fact, I am an utter failure....  and thus he began to relate to me his long story in order to prove that he had failed to develop his interpersonal skills and was unsuccessful in utilizing his talents. This is a problem with many people. Why do some of us feel inferior? Why do we look at those at the peak of the mountain while thinking of ourselves as unworthy of reaching that peak as they have, or even climbing it as they did?

The one frightened of climbing mountains forever lives in the ditches

Do you wish to know who will not benefit from this book, or any other similar book, for that matter?

It is the unfortunate one who surrenders to his own errors and becomes satisfied with his limited skills, and says, “This is my nature. I have become too used to it now; I cannot change my ways. Everyone knows this is how I am.  I can never speak like Khalid does, or have a cheerful countenance like Ahmad has, or be universally loved the way Ziyad is. That would be impossible." I once sat with a very old man in a public gathering. Most of those present were people with the usual skills and abilities. The old man was busy speaking to whoever was sitting next to him. He did not stand out in the crowd for any reason, except by virtue of his old age.

I delivered a lecture and during it mentioned a verdict given by the eminent Sheikh 'Abdul Aziz bin Baz. When I finished, the old man said to me with pride, "Sheikh Ibn Baz and I were colleagues.

We used to study together in a mosque under Shaykh Muhammad bin Ibrahim, about forty years ago:'

I turned around to look at him and noticed that he seemed very happy to share this information with me. He was delighted to have accompanied a successful man once in his life. I said to myself, "Poor man! Why did you not become as successful as Ibn Baz? If you knew the way to success, why did you not pursue it? Why is it that when Ibn Baz passes away, people cry for him from the pulpits, mihrabs, and institutes, and various nations grieve over the loss; yet, when your death comes, perhaps, nobody would shed a single tear, except out of kindness or custom!"

We all may say at some time or another; "We knew so and so and we sat with so and so: 'But this is nothing to be proud of. What one can be proud of is to scale the peak as they did. Be brave and from now on be determined to utilize all the abilities you possess. Be successful. Replace the frown on your face with a smile, depression with cheerfulness, miserliness with generosity, and anger with perseverance. Turn your calamities into occasions of joy and your faith into a weapon!'

Enjoy your life, for it is brief and there is no time in it for anguish. As for how to do this, then this is the reason for my writing this book. So bear with me until the end, with Allah's permission.

You will bear with us if you are brave enough to be determined and persistent on the development of your interpersonal skills, and if you are willing to take advantage of your abilities and talents.

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

From the excellence of one's Islamic to leave that which does not concern him."

How beautiful is this expression, especially if you were to hear it from, the righteous and pure mouth of the Messenger of Allah. May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him! Yes, to leave that which does not concern him!

How many number of people who bother you by interfering a matters that do not concern them?  They bother you when they see your watch, "How much did you buy this for?"

You reply, "This was given to me as a gift" Then they would say, "A gift? From whom?"

You reply, "From a friend. "

He would continue, "Your friend from the university? Or your locality? Or elsewhere?"

You reply, "Well, a friend of mine from the university."

He keeps pressing, "Okay, but what was the occasion?"

You respond, "Well, an occasion, from our university days. "

He then says, "Yes, but what occasion in particular? Gradua­tion? Or when you went on a trip? Or something else?"

He would continue to ask you questions about an utterly worthless matter!

I ask you, by Allah, Wouldn't you feel like shouting at him, saying, "Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!'

And even worse is if he were to put you in an awkward situation by asking you an embarrassing question in public!

I remember, once I was in a gathering with a group of my friends. After the Maghrib prayer, one of my friends mobile phone rang. He was sitting next to me.

He answered the phone,"Yes?"

His wife shouted on the phone, "Hello! Where are you, you donkey?"

Her voice was so loud that I could hear their conversation well.

He said, "I am fine, May Allah protect you'

It seemed as though he had promised her to take her to her family, but became busy with us.

His wife became really angry and said, "May Allah not protect you! You are quite happy to be with your friends all the while I wait for you.
 
By Allah, You Are a Bull!"

He said, "May Allah be pleased with you. I will come to you after 'lshaa"

I realized that his speech did not exactly correspond to hers. There after I realized that he was speaking in this manner in order to save him self from embarrassment.

He then finished his call. I began to look at those present, thinking to myself that one of them will ask him, "Who was that on the phone? What does he want from you? Why did your face change after the conversation?" But Allah had mercy on him; No one interfered in a matter which did not concern them.

Likewise, If you were to visit a patient and ask him about his illness, and he were to reply vaguely, "Alhamdulillah, nothing ma­jor, just minor illness", and such expressions that do not explicitly answer the question, Do not embarrass him by persisting on asking detailed questions, such as, "I am sorry, but what exactly is the illness.

Please clarify what you said" and so on. Why the need to embarrass him?

From excellence of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. I mean, are you really waiting for him to tell you, "I have hemorrhoids", or "I have an injury, in an embarrassing place", etc?

As long as he gave you a vague response, there is no need to ask him for details. I do not mean that he should not question the patient about his illness. What I mean is that one should not ask detailed questions about another illness.

Another example of this is a person who called out to a student in front of all the people in a public gathering, and asked in a loud voice, "Hey! Ahmad! Did you pass?"

Ahmad said, "Yes'

He asked, What percentage? What grade?"

If he truly cared for him, he would have asked him when he was alone. There was also no need to go into details by asking "What percentage? Why didn't you revise? Why weren't you accepted in the university?"

If he was really ready to help him, then he could have taken him to the side and spoken to him about whatever, he liked. But as for displaying his dirty laundry in public, then that certainly was not genuine!

The Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said,"From the excellence of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. "

"However, be careful. Do not make a matter larger than it is."

Once I was traveling to Madinah and was busy delivering a number of lectures. So I agreed with a kind young man to take my two sons, 'Abd ar Rahman and Ibrahim, after 'Asr, to their Qur'an memorization circles, or some summer amusement center, and to return with them after 'lsha.

'Abd ar Rahman was ten years old. I feared that that young man may ask him some useless questions, such as, "What is your mother's name? Where is your house? How many brothers do you have? How much pocket money does your father give you?'

So I warned 'Abd ar Rahman and said, "If he were to ask you an inappropriate question, just say to him that the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said, 'From the excellence of one's Islamic to leave that which does not concern him. "'

I repeated to him the Hadith until he had memorised it.

'Abd ar Rahman and his brother then sat in the car with this young man. 'Abd ar Rahman was at the time both very tense and respectful.

The young man said out of kindness,"May Allah prolong your life, 0 'Abd ar Rahman!"

Abd ar Rahman replied, "May Allah prolong your life, too!"

The poor young man wanted to lighten up the atmosphere a bit, so he said, "Is the Shaykh delivering any lecture today?"

'Abd ar Rahman tried to remember the Hadith, but his memory did not help him, so he yelled, "Do not interfere in things that do not concern you!"

The young man said, "I mean, I would just like to attend his lecture and benefit."

'Abd ar Rahman then thought that he was trying to be clever, so he repeated the same response,'

"Do not interfere in things that do not concern you."

The young man then said, "I am sorry, Abd ar Rahman.  But what I mean is... ",

But 'Abd ar Rahman again shouted, "NO! Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!"

They remained on these terms until I returned.

Abd ar Rahman then informed me of the entire story with pride, so I laughed and had to explain the concept to him once again.

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in other ' affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end.

Why Interest is Haram?

1. Massive 'Call Money' Scam Takes Andhra Pradesh By Storm, 80 Arrested

Hyderabad:  A massive blackmail, extortion and sex racket linked to "call money" has been exposed in Andhra Pradesh, in which 80 people from different political parties have been arrested.

The police say the scandal operated in multiple districts and involved politicians, businessmen and so-called moneylenders. The Andhra Pradesh government has ordered a judicial probe into what has been dubbed the "call money racket."

Call money is a loan that is literally a phone call away, with money delivered at one's doorstep. The flipside is that the lender can demand it back at any time and if the borrower cannot repay, the lender can take away property.



The police say that in this racket, women were coerced into sexual exploitation.

"Women who are doing small businesses and borrow money to make ends meet, when they can't repay, they are exploited," said a woman.

The lenders demanded rates of interest that were as high as 120 per cent to 200 per cent. Promissory notes and blank cheques were taken against the loans.

The case surfaced after a woman in Vijayawada complained to the police that she was forced to give back Rs. 6 lakh when she borrowed only Rs. 1.5 lakh.

When they started investigating, the police uncovered the web of threats, coercion, extortion, sexual exploitation and even prostitution riding on the money-lending business.

Kanakaraju, who runs a small eatery, says he borrowed Rs. 50,000 and had been paying Rs. 500 every day for the past five years. Yet the lender has not returned his documents and promissory note. "They made my life hell," he said.

"The names of several ruling party lawmakers, ministers and other influential Telugu Desam Party leaders have come up in this shameful scam. Yet the chief minister has not taken any action," alleged YSR Congress president Jaganmohan Reddy, who took the case to the governor.

Andhra Pradesh Director General of Police JV Ramudu said there was no question of sparing anyone, irrespective of political affiliation.

Top sources told NDTV that an accused in East Godavari district, Nallmella Veera Venkata Sairam Reddy, has close links with the YSR Congress. The police recovered 500 promissory notes from him.

Chief Minister Chandrababu Naidu has said tough action will be taken against those involved and has asked district police to invoke Nirbhaya Act in case there is an instance of sexual exploitation.

This Is What Quran Explained About Intrest.

الَّذِينَ يَأْكُلُونَ الرِّبَا لَا يَقُومُونَ إِلَّا كَمَا يَقُومُ الَّذِي يَتَخَبَّطُهُ الشَّيْطَانُ مِنَ الْمَسِّ ذَٰلِكَ بِأَنَّهُمْ قَالُوا إِنَّمَا الْبَيْعُ مِثْلُ الرِّبَا وَأَحَلَّ اللَّهُ الْبَيْعَ وَحَرَّمَ الرِّبَا فَمَن جَاءَهُ مَوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِ فَانتَهَىٰ فَلَهُ مَا سَلَفَ وَأَمْرُهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَمَنْ عَادَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ  (البقرة (275)

Those who consume interest cannot stand [on the Day of Resurrection] except as one stands who is being beaten by Satan into insanity. That is because they say, "Trade is [just] like interest." But Allah has permitted trade and has forbidden interest. So whoever has received an admonition from his Lord and desists may have what is past, and his affair rests with Allah. But whoever returns to [dealing in interest or usury] - those are the companions of the Fire; they will abide eternally therein.

البقرة (276)يَمْحَقُ اللَّهُ الرِّبَا وَيُرْبِي الصَّدَقَاتِ وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ كَفَّارٍ أَثِيمٍ

Allah destroys interest and gives increase for charities. And Allah does not like every sinning disbeliever.

Story First Published: December 16, 2015 23:37 IST

Do not kill yourself by grief.

Sa'd was a student  at the university. Once he was absent for a whole week, so when I met him;

I said "I hope everything is fine, Sa'd? "Nothing's wrong at all, I was just a little busy",Sa'd replied. It was, obvious that he was grief stricken. I said to him, "What's the news?"

"How old is he?" I asked."Seventeen years old"he replied.

I said,"I pray to Allah that He cures him and bless his brothers his situation had an impact on me, but I remained firm and said, "Dear Sa'd, in short, do not kill yourself with grief. Nothing will afflict us except what Allah has already written: Then i consoled him and left. Yes, do not kill yourself with grief, for that will not lighten your troubles.

I remember that sometime ago I went to al Madinah al Na­bawiyya and met up with Khalid. He said to me, "What do you say if we visit Dr. 'Abdullah?"

I said, "Why? What's the news? He replied, "For condolences. "

For condolences? I remarked, in surprise.

The Doctor was a righteous man beyond fifty years of age, but never the less, a human being with feelings and emotions. He had a heart in his chest, and two weeping eyes, and of course, a soul that became happy and sad.
When he heard the terrible news, he prayed over them and

He began to wander about his house in bewilderment.He would pass by toys that lay there untouched for days, because the Khulud and Sarah who would play with them had died.

He would return to his bed which hadn't been made because Umm, Salih, his wife, had died.

He would pass by Yasir's bicycle which hadn't moved for days since the one who used to ride it had died. He would enter his eldest daughter's room to see her wedding suitcases arranged and her clothes lying on her bed.She died when she was in the middle of arranging her wedding clothes.

Glory,be to the One who gave him patience and made him strong!

Guests would come to his house and bring coffee along with them,as he didn't have anyone to help him prepare anything for them.What is amazing is that if you were to see the man receiving condolences, you would think that he was the one giving condolences, and that the one enduring this tragedy was some one else!

He would repeatedly say,"To Allah we belong and to Him we return. It belongs to Allah, whatever

He takes or gives.

Everything has an appointed time with Allah. "

I know someone who when ever I see him he is happy. Yet, if you were to consider his situation, you would find that he has a very humble occupation, he lives in very small rented accommodation, his car is very old and he has many children. Despite this, he is always smiling and loving. He loves his life. That's right! Do not kill your self with grief and do not complain frequently until people become tired of you, like a person whose son is disabled, so whenever he sees you he keeps you busy with his complaints, "My son is ill.... I feel for him... poor son of mine..."

You will soon find your self fed up of him and feel like screaming, Enough, dear brother! Enough! l get your point!" Or imagine a woman frequently saying to her husband, Our house is old the car is about to break down my clothes are out of fashion What is the benefit in complaining? It only increases the suffering. You spend your entire life,A poor man, moaning and grieving.

Your remain with your handstand, complaining, Time is If you do not carry the burdens yourself, who will? 
Enlightenment.

He replied,"My son is ill. He has an injured liver, and a few days ago he also contracted blood poisoning.Also, just yesterday I was shocked to hear that the poisoning has now reached the brain.

I said, There is no might or strength except by Allah! Have patience! I pray to Allah that He cures him. And if Allah were to decree anything for him (i. e.  death), I ask Allah to make him your intercessor on the Day of Resurrection.

He replied, Intercessor? Dear Shaykh, my son is not that young

He lowered his head and said,"Dear Shaykh, he has no brothers.I have not been blessed with any more children, and he has been afflicted with this illness as you can see. "

He said, "Yes.His eldest son went to a wedding party with the entire family in a near by city, whilst he remained behind in Madinah due to his commitments at the university.On the way back they were involved in a terrible road accident in which they died all eleven of them! buried them with his own hands, all eleven of them. 

This is the peak of intelligence, for if he did not behave in this manner, he would have died of grief.

Live your life with what you have available, and you will always be happy.

Ibn Qayyim AI-Jawziyyah (691-751 AH.)

Through patience and poverty one attains leadership in religion.The seeker of Truth needs that will inspire him and push him upward and (religious) knowledge that will lead him and guide him."

These words of  Ibn Qayyim AI- Jawziyyah sum up the personality of this great man, Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr, who is better known as Ibn Qayyim AI- Jawziyyah or Ibn AI-Qayyim, for short. He was born in 691 A.H.

He began his long journey on the road of learning early in his life, moving from one teacher to another to quench his thirst for knowledge. At the age of 21 (in 712 A.H.) Ibn AI-Qayyim met his teacher Ibn Taymiyyah another great hero of Islam and a revivalist of the faith. Their companionship lasted to the end of the teacher's life, Ibn AI-Qayyim kept close company to Ibn Taymiyyah with whom he suffered the pains of prison and flogging many a time.

Apparently, it was from Ibn Taymiyyah that he learn many special qualities such as frankness and courage, indefiance of the falsehood of others, including those in authority. For to both truth had to be said regardless of the consequences. But unlike his teacher, or Ibn AI-Qayyim was less fierce in his attacks (in words or action). The 8th century' Hijra witnessed a state of ignorance and feuds in the Muslim community. Muslims were fighting each other and each trying to impose his authority in everything including religious opinion and scholarship which suffered from stagnation. For the majority of religious scholars acted more like 'recorders' of knowledge rather than true scholars and teachers. To them their teachers were the main. If not the sale, source of knowledge, and the schools of thought they blindly imitated were the only acceptable ways.

Like his teacher Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn AI-Qayyim spent his life in attempting to correct the wrong course the community was following. He fought the exaggerated reverence for the tombs of the pious despite the strong resistance he met with for the masses. He tried to show the errors committed by the misled sects and their blind followers.

For he considered that the disputes and fights among the Muslims of his time were caused by their sectarian attitude and chauvinistic practices, each one considering himself and his sector school of thought the only right one, and claiming that everyone else was on the wrong path.

Ibn AI-Qayyim spent most of his time and great efforts trying to unite the people, pointing out to them the dangers of blind imitation of the predecessors. He explained that  a Muslim should be open-minded; that is, he should accept what is right and good regardless of the teacher as long as what he or she accepts is consistent with the Quran and the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars and the general spirit of the faith. To him imitation was wrong in the following cases: 1) if it entails violation of Divine teachings, 2) if it represents an act of blind following of people we are not sure of their knowledge. 3) If it is in defiance of truth after finding it.

It was blind imitation that caused stagnation in scholar· ship and differences among people. Some so-called scholars, he pointed out, were not really scholars of Islam but rather simple propagators of others' opinions. To those people the words and views of their teachers or leaders were the only correct way of understanding the faith to the extent that they subjected even the interpretation if the Quran and the Prophetic teachings to the views of their teachers, which they wrongly took for the ultimate criteria.

Ibn AI-Qayyim considered that the sources of religious knowledge were to be taken in the following order:

1) The Our'an, 2) The Sunnah (Prophet Muhammad's teachings) and 3} The teachings of the companions of the Prophet. To these one could add consensus of Muslim scholars and analogy. Bigotry and prejudice were to him the enemies of learning. To propagate his views, Ibn AI-Qayyim wrote scores of books besides direct teaching.

In his own private life Ibn AL-Qayyim was a very pious and devout worshipper who spent most of his time in prayers and recitation of the Our'an. He was, in fact, an ascetic who rejected the unorthodox practices of some sufis (mystics) who claimed that religious teachings had external and internal sides, meaning that religious obligations (such as prayers, fasting during Ramadan etc. etc.) did not apply to them .

As pointed out earlier Ibn AI·Qayyim was a man of courage and frankness to whom truth was the ultimate goal. His open-minded and flexible attitude is reflected in his views on the correct understanding of religious laws (Shairah), and that these should be interpreted in the light of the circumstances of time and place, because Islam is intended and practicable for all mankind at all times. He wrote many books to

Explain this invaluable principle. Many of his views find their application in the legal system of modern nations more than six centuries after his death in 751 A.H.

Only pass comment on what is good

Some people are over-zealously in making observations and passing comments.  They do not seem to ever stop praising or being complimentary.  However, as the old saying goes, "When something transgresses the limits, it becomes its opposite", or whoever hurries for something before its due time, is often punished by being deprived thereof.

Do praise things that are beautiful and charming things over which a person feels happy when they are noticed, where he expects admiration and is moved upon hearing words of praise. As for things that people usually feel embarrassed about, or feel mortified upon noticing, then close your eyes to those. Dear brother, he did not ask you for your advice. You are not a professional decorator whose advice should be sought. When the guest finished eating, he said, "Praise be to Allah who fed us, quenched our thirst and made us content with what He has given us. 'For example: - You enter your friend's house and notice that the chairs are very old.  Be careful that you do not become an irritating person who cannot cease to offer his unwanted advice. Be careful and do not let your tongue slip by saying: "Why don't you buy new chairs? Half of the chandelier is not functional.  Why don't you buy a new one? The paint on your wall is peeling! Why don't you paint the wall?"

Remain silent. Perhaps he is not able to change the decoration.

Perhaps he is financially restricted, and so on. None is more awkward than a man who embarrasses people by noticing things that humiliate him, and then rouses the topic and begins to pass comments. Similarly, if his garments were old, or his car AC was not working, then either speak well, or remain silent. They say that a man once visited his friend.  His friend, being the host, gave him bread to eat with oil. The guest then said, "If only there was thyme with the bread!" The host then went to his family and asked for some thyme, but found out that they had none.  He then went out to buy some, but he did not have enough money. The shop keeper refused to sell it to him on credit.  Thus, he came back home, took his utensil with which he made ablution and gave it to the shop keeper as a deposit, so that in case he was not able to pay for the thyme, the shop keeper could always sell the utensil to recover his money.  He then took the thyme and returned to the guest and gave it to him.

The host, upon hearing this, sighed in pain and said, "If Allah really had made you content with what He has given you, and then my ablution utensil would not have been given as a security!" Similarly, if you were to visit a patient, do not say to him, "Oh! Your face has gone yellow! Your eyes seem to be wandering! Your skin is dry!" How strange! Are you! His doctor? Speak well, or remain silent.It is said that a man once visited a patient and sat next to him for a while.  He then asked him as to what was ailing him. The patient told him what is wrong with him, and that his illness was serious. The visitors, upon hearing this, screamed and said: "Oh no! So and so, a friend of mine had the same illness and he died because of it! My brother's friend also caught this disease, and he remained bed ridden until he died! My brother in law's neighbor also caught this disease and died:' All the while, the patient listening to this was about to explode! Formerly, when the visitor finished what he had to say and decided to leave, he turned to the patient and said, "By the way, do you advise me with anything?" The patient said, "Yes! When you finally leave, do not bother ever coming back to me!" If you visit a patient, then do not mention death to him. It is also said that once an old woman's friend, who was another old woman, fell ill.  The old woman would ask her sons, one by one, to take her to her ill friend for a visit, but they would continue to make excuses, until one of the sons finally agreed to take her. So he took her in his car. When they arrived at the house, the old woman got out of the car while the son waited. 

The old woman then visited her friend to find that she was completely be set by her illness. She greeted her and prayed for her.

When she began to leave, she walked for a while in the lobby with her friend's weeping daughters, and said, innocently, "Unfortunately, I can’t come to you whenever I want. Your mother severely ill and it seems that she will die.” So let me say to you now ‘May Allah grants you all an appropriate patience to her death. ’Hence, be careful, O intelligent person! Only pass comment on things that are a source of joy, and not depressing.

A problem, If you were ever forced to comment on something bad, such as dirt on a garment, or a bad odor, then do so tactfully. Be clever and kind while doing so.

The Red Lines

It's about one of my students was very well read and always keen to form relationships with others. However, he was also very unpleasant.

He came to me one day and said, "Dear teacher, my colleagues never like me. They cannot bear my sense of humour:'

I said to myself, "I cannot bear you when you are silent, so how could I when you speak? Moreover, how terrible are you when you try to be lighthearted and joke?"

I asked him, "Why are they unable to bear your jokes? Give me an example of a joke of yours. "

He said, "Once, one of them sneezed, so I said, 'May Allah curse you..... and remained silent....' When he became angry I completed my sentence, '..... lblis! And may Allah have mercy on you, 0 son of and so!"'

How unpleasant this joke was, I thought.

Poor man, he thought he was being pleasant and lighthearted by making such jokes!

No matter how much people tolerate your humour and wit, there are always redlines that they would never like you to cross, especially in front of others.  However, some people do not give any consideration to this and often transgress others' sensitivities. For instance, some people would take your mobile phone and start phoning whoever they like. Others may use it to send text messages to people whom you do not wish to have your number. One of them may drive your car without your permission, or embarrass you by persistently asking for it until you give in unwillingly. You may find a group of students living in a flat and one of them wakes up to go to the university, he finds that so and so has already left with his coat, and so and so has left with his shoes!

Examples of crossing this red line includes finding some people embarrassing their friends by their unpleasant sense of humour or by asking awkward questions in public.  A person, no matter how much he loves you, will always remain a human being who will be happy at times and angry at others.

When the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam was on his way back to Madinah from Tabuk, there came to him in that same month 'Urwah bin Mas'ud al Thaqafi.  He was a well respected leader and of a noble status am6ng his tribe of Thaqaf.  He met with the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam before he reached Madinah and embraced Islam.  He suggested to the Pro het that he should go back to his people and call them to Islam. The Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam feared for his wellbeing and said, "They will fight you:' The Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam knew that the Thaqaf tribe was zealously averse to Islam and extremely stern in their dealings, even with their leaders.

'Urwah replied, "0 Messenger of Allah, 1 am more beloved to them than their virgin daughters. " He was, indeed very much beloved and obeyed by his people.  He went to his people to call them to Islam, hoping that they would not disobey him due to his noble status amongst them.

Upon reaching his people's dwellings, he . climbed up an elevated place and called out to them until they all gathered.  He called them to Islam and openly declared that he was a Muslim.  He began to repeat, "I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. "

When the people heard this from him, they screamed and became angry about being called to abandon their gods.  They shot at him with arrows from all directions until he fell down.  Thereupon his nephews came to him as he wa breathing his last and said, "0 'Urwah! What do you say regarding the spilling of your blood?" Meaning; shall we avenge your blood by killing those who killed you?

He replied, "This is an honour Allah has bestowed unto me.  This is my martyrdom which Allah has brought to me.  My case is like the that of the martyrs who were killed in the company of the Messenger of Allah So do not kill anyone fore.  and do not avenge my blood from anyone. "

It is said that when this news reached the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam he said regarding him, "He was among his people like Yaseen among his people:'

Take notice! People have feelings.  No matter how close you get to them, do not be bold with them in your humour or dealings.  Avoid the red line.  Do not hurt them, no matter how high they hold you in regard, even if they be like your brothers or sons.

For this reason, the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam drew our attention to this and forbade us from frightening a believer. One day the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam was on a journey with his companions. Each one of the Companions had with him his belongings including weapons, sleeping

mats and food. They stopped over at a place and a man amongst them fell asleep.  His friend turned to a rope he had and took it jokingly. When the man woke up and found the rope missing from his belongings, he was terrified and began looking for it. Thereupon the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said,"It is not allowed for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim:' (Abu Dawud)

On another occasion, when the Companions were travelling with the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam a man was overcome by slumber whilst mounted on his ride.  His friend took advantage of his negligence and took out an arrow from his quiver.  The man realised that someone was playing with his weapons, so he became terrified, frightened and alert.  Thereupon the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said,"It is not allowed for a Muslims to frighten another Muslim. " (alTabarani and 0thers, reportedby reliable narrators).

'Similar is the case with someone who jokes with you thinking that you will be happy, whereas in reality, he only harms you, or even worse, fills your heart with fright and anxiety.  For instance, he notices that you have just parked your car outside a grocery with the engine running, so he comes and drives off in your car; causing you to.  think that your car has been stolen obviously as a joke.  The one on the receiving end of such jokes may respond courteously and may even laugh at the joke, but the fact remains that the joke was still cruel.

A point of view: Whatever goes beyond its limits turns into its opposite. How often jokes turn into arguments!.